Back in the 80’s a wrestler’s finisher was a big deal and that continued until 2002-2003 or whenever Stephanie McMahon stepped in as creative head. Why, God? Why?
A finishing maneuver could make or break a wrestler just look at Randy Orton. ‘The Viper’ without the RKO makes him an athletic mid-carder at best and if you disagree well you’re wrong! We would argue that even though Steve Austin had a bad ass look, without a bad ass finisher like the Stone Cold Stunner he might have not be the legend he is today. Austin with a pump handle slam – shudder to think.
We know that some wrestlers like Hulk Hogan could have won with a body slam and the crowd wouldn’t have cared because the “Hulk up” was the real memorable moment from all of his matches. Watch his match with the Rock at Wrestlemania 19 and listen to the crowd when he no sells a rock bottom. It still gives me chills.
In the modern era (2010-2018) there are still older wrestlers like HHH, Brock Lesnar, and Undertaker competing as relics from other eras so they don’t qualify for this list. Not to mention they have three of the most iconic finishers of all time in The Pedigree, the F5, and the Tombstone Piledriver respectively. No, no, no. This list takes on the next gen “sports entertainers” using moves that just aren’t up to snuff.
A note before we start here. John Cena would be number one on this list as his STF submission and Five Knuckle Shuffle falling punch are so bad even Cena marks can’t defend them. Don’t believe us? Just watch these and shut up.
Cena misses the head by at least six inches.
Cena’s horrible STF submission:
Enough with John. To make this list a person needs to be a modern era WWE performer in the mid card or above saddled with a bad match ending maneuver. So, without further ado – the top 5…
Number 5 – Roman Reigns and his spear of fail
The McMahon’s love of Roman Reigns is slowly killing WWE’s popularity. John Cena, yes we remember saying enough, was the first nail in the coffin because he was the one guy that had consistently superhuman booking that killed promising careers. Roman is suffering from being similarly booked as the top guy instead of who the fans are truly clamoring for. Am I trashing him? Yes, but it’s making a point. Reigns has an incredible Superman Punch in his repertoire that is used as a setup move for a corny, telegraphed spear. Instead of using the spectacular flying punch he uses a moderately exciting running shoulder to the stomach after a cheesy “Ooh-ahhh” and a shaking face like he’s being possessed. It’s bad. It’s really bad.
Number 4 – Nikki Bella’s Rack Attack
Somewhere in this country Lex Luger is shaking his head at this one. Nikki puts her opponent in to a Torture Rack and drops maybe a foot on to her knees supposedly disabling the victim. It looks incredibly weak because of her size. Someone like Luger using it might work because of how it already look like he’s one second from ripping the unlucky person in half before the drop. Without that intensity and height to drop them from it just looks bad.
Number 3 – Enzo Amore’s JawDonZo
This could have been a great move. Enzo Amore had charisma for days and was solid on the mic so all he needed was a good way to end his matches. The reason his JawDonZo move is on this list is its name and appearance. He twists their arm, ducks under it, kicks them in the gut so they bend over, extends his leg to their face, and falls backwards. So much wrong, so little time. Put your fist snugly on your cheek and hit your elbow upwards. See that? If it’s snug there is no real effect there. On top of that it looks meh and he ends up on his back which is never a good thing. A wrestler never wants to end up on their backs – just ask Hulk Hogan. That doesn’t work for him, brother.
Number 2 – Nia Jax’s low jumping leg drop
Hulk Hogan’s leg drop finisher was awesome looking because he is tall man with decent jumping ability. Anyone else using it just can’t seem to make it work even if it’s performed while hurtling off the top rope. So why in the world would someone think that Nia Jax jumping a few inches off the ground with it would be a good idea?. She’s a large woman and gravity is not kind to large people trust me I know. It just looks awful and unconvincing. She’s got skills but not a good finisher.
Number 1 – Naomi’s ridiculous Rear View
Look, man. This one is just bad and as corny as it gets. This is for sure a Stephanie or Vince creation and we don’t care if anyone tries to tell us differently. It’s just awful. She gets a running start, does a 180 in the air, does the splits, and bumps her opponent with her butt. It looks absolutely ridiculous and ineffective. She is talented and has a great look so why someone thought this was a smart move is beyond us.
Did we miss any out? Let us know in the comments.