UFC ring girls get the boot – conspiracy theory included

Photo by ProMMA.info

Apparently, UFC ring girls Logan Stanton and Natasha Wix have been released from the best job they ever had – walking around a cage of fighters with thousands of men hootin’ and hollarin’ at you.

Although the reasons for the two ladies’ forced exit from the company have not been disclosed, let us look to that one aspect of modern society that always provides us with clues… Twitter:

Ms. Wix via tweet says,

“I just want to say thank you to all the fans and UFC for the support and the awesome opportunity! :)”

Not much to glean from Ms. Wix’s one line farewell; almost like she left a note taped to your bathroom mirror for you to wake up and read after a one night stand.

However, you do get the impression it is insincere, like something a publicist would say if she were famous enough to have a publicist.

Ms. Stanton however, gives us a little more information. Her first tweet is in reference to her work at UFC 107 in Memphis, where she and Ms. Wix worked alone, without the third ring girl, Ms. Arianny Celeste, the undisputed Octagon queen.

Ms. Stanton tweets:

“Memphis wore me out! Back to work though.. I need a vacation!! ;)”

Okay, really? You got wore out from carrying a piece of cardboard around a cage probably ten times? Come on girl.

It is interesting though… she doesn’t say UFC 107 wore me out, she says, “Memphis” wore me out. Now unless she knows a big fat sex addict by the name of Memphis, she is probably referring to the city where UFC 107 was held.

So what happened in Memphis, that is the question?

Everything seemed fine at the fights. The girls stood up, they picked up their signs, they walked around the cage, they put down their signs, and they sat down without one apparent mishap.

So I ask again, what happened in Memphis to “wear Ms. Stanton out” to the point she needed a “vacation”?

Now, I have a theory, and it revolves around Ms. Wix… You see, Logan was around before Ms. Wix… before “Natasha” came on board. “Natasha” replaced Edith. Blonde curly hair bouncy all-American “Natasha” was a seemingly breath of fresh air for many, from the European looking enormous fake breasted mysterious and dark “Edith”.

“Edith” seemed to scare many of the younger MMA fans. Many had never seen such large breasts under a nose that big. Most UFC fans had never been to a country where attractive women could be named “Edith.” It frightened them and they didn’t understand it. So she never really fit in. But I digress…

Here’s the thing, I got to sit ringside at UFC 107. I got an up close look at Ms. Wix and I finally saw what I suspected all along. The bouncy curly-headed all-American girl she pretended to be was all an act. Let’s just put it like this… she was T-R-O-U-B-L-E. Just like the Pink song, “Trouble” with a capital “T”.

And my theory is, she came in and corrupted poor Ms. Stanton. There is no telling what “Natasha” had Ms. Stanton doing in some Memphis back-alley blues bar basement. I shudder to think of what she could have possibly led Ms. Stanton into doing that would exhaust her to the point she needed a vacation.

All this probably happened because Arianny wasn’t at UFC 107… see what happens when Queen Bee isn’t around to watch over the girls. Ol’ “blondie” goes wild. I’m telling you, the answer lies in Memphis. It’s the city where even kings die on toilets.

Ms. Stanton gives us a few more tweets:

“Thanks for all the support guys :) You all helped make this an amazing journey for me!”

“Although I’m upset I won’t have front row seats to the fights anymore ;) there are bigger and better things in store..”

“This was just a stepping stone! Time for round 2..”

Well, bye Logan. You were the cool one. I never did trust “blondie.”

Word is they  may only have two ring girls from now on, and supposedly THIS is the new one. Now, I’m not sure what she’s doing with that glass down there but I like it.

HT: MMA Madness

Photo by ProMMA.info
Photo by ProMMA.info
Photo by ProMMA.info
Photo: UFC
Photo: UFC