So – you’re sitting at Thanksgiving and realize that life has no meaning. You debate all of the existing theories and even touch on Quantum Physics. Then it hits you…
Turkey jiu jitsu? Abu Turkey tournament? Nope, too meaty. Stuffing boxing? Nope, too stuffy. Gravy Wrestling Championships? Just foody enough.
In this video you will see the “spectacular sauce toss”, the “drown your meat” suplex, and even a “mashed potato mangler”. Seriously, this looks like fun and it’s messy. Our site’s owner Jack Bratcher took 5th one year because of a mouth hook by Germany’s Hans Humpenhauser. It was Brutal. Hans turned out to be Rousimar Palhares and once they discovered this Palhares was subsequently banned from the competition for life.
Five years ago, editor Gary Thomas competed and got so much gravy in his beard he couldn’t stand up. He received 11th place out of ten competitors, but they awarded his beard 7th. The person who defeated him was Iceland’s Mycbkjsbd Lrihsafhfjhekfy hailing from Cxyvxnmiury, Iceland.
Finally, Kelvin Hunt – writer and always against everything I like – won 2nd by outside interference. Money Mayweather ran in and distracted the ref long enough for Hunt to secure a “Yamasaki Tomahawk Turkey Baster” for the 1-2-3.
If one of our readers attends one of these we would love to see it. Send your videos to:
Jack “Meat and Potatoes” Bratcher
123 Gravy Train Lane
Sweet and Sour, NY
The World Gravy Championships might actually do well on PPV. Lingerie fighting is God Awful and it does just fine. Imagine women in loose clothing throwing each other around in a nasty cat fight covered in Gravy. Yep, I’m getting hungry right now! Check this video out.