The Pipe Bomb: The WWE should read this NOW

brock lesnar f5 john cena

The WWE used to be a juggernaut in the entertainment industry. They obliterated the WCW, ECW, and any other “xCW” in their market. So why are fans so upset and turning away from the once beloved world of sports entertainment? Trust me I know.

What used to be edgy and unpredictable is now stale and contains endings a blind man could see coming. It is also because even the dumbest of fans can tell we are being force fed headquarters favorites down our throats. I’m not just talking about Batista’s unforgivable win at Royal Rumble 2014. No, no, no. I am talking about not ready for prime time Alberto Del Rio, mediocre at best Sheamus, and the current champion Randy Orton. The only reason they are there is because the WWE has no other options. Or do they? The crowd boos these guys not because they play good heels…WWE…it’s because they absolutely, positively, unequivocally, 100% SUCK. Thank you Rock.

We all know about Daniel Bryan’s meteoric rise to fame and CM Punk’s pipe bomb lighting up the internet and sparking interest in the company again. The WWE doesn’t get it though. They bury these guys because they think they need to teach them a lesson. Listen, that’s the only reason I can think of that they would be so stupid in booking. Honestly, a blind man can see that HHH and Stephanie are absolute morons when it comes to what the fans want. I have worked with people like them before. I can hear it now, “Our fans are stupid. They think they know what they want…but let’s give them what we know they need”. They do not get it at all. We want who we cheer for, NOT who they want us to cheer for. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

I can’t stand what they are doing. Ratings suffer not because the stars like Bryan can’t draw according to their crack team of idiotic bookers. It’s because said matchmakers can’t see what to do with them. In their nonstop bombardment of social media hot garbage they miss the point. We don’t give a crap about one second of who’s trending or whatever the worst announcer in the business, Michael Cole, has to say. And by say, I mean what is being fed to him in his earpiece.

That’s another thing. The reason they struggle is because they pre-script everything. Remember when Austin and The Rock tore the house down? It was because they had some key points and played off of those turning segments in to magic. It’s no surprise they suck. Look at how absolutely terrible HHH and Stephanie are on the mic anymore. She wants so bad to be the hot chick and Vince figure while HHH struggles to make a decision on whether he wants to wrestle again or be a businessman. He was always a good wrestler who was only great when in the ring with great wrestlers. See Undertaker, Michaels, Jericho, Punk, and the list goes on.

John Cena has run his course. In their effort to be PG rated they miss every opportunity to showcase what could be blockbuster developments. John Cena needs to be a heel. He has no edge. The Rock came back and dominated him on the microphone by staying in character and selling every word Cena said like it was the most important thing in his life all while juggling his A level movie career. Cena had to result to “shooting” or breaking character to try and win those battles. The only way for Mr. Fruity Pebbles to stay relevant is to get that edge back and turn heel. It’s a marketing thing, I get it. He says his prayers, eats his supplements, and watches Teletubbies. He’s PG marketable. The long run payoff would be immeasurable and I would watch WWE pay per views again. Now we are force fed HHH’s weightlifting buddies and when we boo them the idiots booking matches pretend they planned it that way on purpose in some grand scheme. BS.

Someone needs to slap them back in to the realm of the intelligent business decision making process.

Furthermore, it is marketing 101 not to use the term “brand” in your product. The “Raw brand” and “Smackdown brand” thing was God awful marketing. Just produce good product for God’s sake and we will enjoy it. Don’t let Stephanie be involved. When asked about the first match between John Cena and The Rock she said to think of the terms Team Cena vs Team Bring it like Team Edward and Team Jacob from Twilight. How out of touch do you have to be to compare a professional wrestling based product to the most widely panned franchise in recent years?

Right now the staff of WWE is living off of what Vince built. They are also letting an out of touch senior citizen Mr. Vincent K. McMahon continue to have the show re-written at the last possible minute.

They just don’t get it.

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