Left to right: Charles "Krazy Horse" Bennett blinging it up, the weirdest Japanese MMA mascot ever, Yoshihiro Takayama, and Mark Coleman riding a banana

Welcome to The MMA Outsider Podcast, the second most popular web radio show on all of ProMMAnow.com!

The MMA Outsider Podcast episode 1

As you know, the MMA media world is chock full of news sites, blogs, podcasts, and all sorts of hardworking people (and morons) debating the same topics repeatedly. So myself and Richard Mann decided, why not throw our own show into the mix and make fun of them all? If you want to be part of this too-awesome-to-fail business model — or you just want to ask a question for the hosts to answer — hit us up at [email protected].

Since the show is new, we’ll tell you a little about ourselves. Close your eyes and pretend like it’s a first date. Actually, don’t do that, because then you won’t be able to read anything. Crap, I suck at this.

We’re sitting in a dive bar drinking cheap beer (It’s a first date and we don’t have sponsors. If you want fancy booze, go out with ESPN’s MMA Live). The television next to the neon “Bud Light” sign is showing Igor Vovchanchyn vs. Fred Floyd at IFC — Kombat in Kiev from 1996. Igor’s a third of Floyd’s size, but he hits like a truck and he’s tenderizing Floyd’s nuts like a piece of veal. Igor is awesome, isn’t he? You better have said yes, otherwise we’re leaving and sticking you with the check.

The bar is crowded and we accidentally touch thighs in our cramped barstools. It’s OK, though. We train Brazilian Jiu Jitsu; this is nothing compared to the north-south position. Awkwardness averted!

How did we get our name? Great question. The old school Japanese MMA promotion Rings saw the writing on the wall, with the demise of PRIDE FC and DREAM and Sengoku failing to take off. They decided to give the people what they want: a complete, total, unadulterated freak show called “The Outsider.”

MMA is for trained professional fighters, you say? Pish posh! The Outsider is where wannabe tough guys, Yakuza thugs, and various other tattooed gentlemen get into the ring and test their manliness in the only way that doesn’t require Internet porn, a ruler, and the honor system.

Of course the best part is that if a fighter’s posse — that’s right, they bring the whole gang to the show — doesn’t like the outcome, they might just storm the ring and cause some mayhem. It’s like the old PlayStation 2 game Def Jam: Vendetta, except with Japanese people instead of rappers.

We know there are other shows vying for your attention, offering candy and flowers. So what sets us apart? Well, we don’t worry too much about professionalism, but accountability is key. If one of us screws up, the other will bash them mercilessly. Expect Mr. Mann’s pick for Mauricio “Shogun” Rua to beat Jon Jones at UFC 128 to be a topic of discussion! So sit back and relax as we analyze the fallout from UFC 128, Jared “$kala” Shaw’s claims that Frank Shamrock offered to fight Kimbo and take a dive, the TUF 14 tryouts, and more.

Lastly, and most importantly, we bring top notch, exclusive content with every episode.

This week we managed to secure an interview with Chael Sonnen!!!!!!! Actually, Chael was busy, but his Twitter account (not Chael via Twitter, just his Twitter account) agreed to a one-on-one discussion about white collar crime, why Brazilians suck, and why he doesn’t want to see Sonnen vs. Michael Bisping.

One-on-one with Chael Sonnen’s Twitter account, sonnench

The Outsider: Hey sonnench, thanks for taking the time to speak with us!

Sonnench: You’re welcome. It’s quite an honor for you.

The Outsider: Chael had a pretty close brush with prison time with the money laundering thing. How’s he taking it?

Sonnench: He’s fine. Still talking trash and acting like he isn’t really an insecure gigantic nerd.

The Outsider: Whoa…hold up a sec. You’re his Twitter account. Are you sure you should be bashing him like that?

Sonnench: Big f****** deal. I’ll kick anybody’s virtual ass in 140 characters or less.

The Outsider: Huh. OK. Well what about the UFC suspending him, not to mention the failed drug test…is he worried about his image?

Sonnench: Seriously? Stupid f****** question. NEXT!

The Outsider: Why is it stupid to think all of this negative publicity will hurt his career?

Sonnench: MMA fans are mouth-breathing morons.

The Outsider: You’re being a bit harsh, aren’t you?

Sonnench: How so? Even with the drug test, they were going to match him up against Akiyama. We all know how great Japanese fighters do against wrestlers!

The Outsider: So do you think it’s his ability to hype a fight that keeps him around?

Sonnench: If it weren’t for me, he’d be on Bellator undercards.

The Outsider: With all due respect, he is an accomplished fighter and nearly beat Anderson Silva.

Sonnench: In 25 wins, he’s got 15 decisions. And people still giggle like school girls when he says he’ll kick someone’s ass. It ain’t lay n pray, but I sleep through most of his fights.

The Outsider: I guess we’ll move on to the next topic. Sonnen wrote a letter to the UFC asking to fight Michael Bisping after his antics against Jorge Rivera. First off, why write a letter instead of using his Twitter account? Did you feel spurned?

Sonnench: I definitely felt left out, but I understand. I mean, Brazilians are funny, but it’s harder to make fun of British people. Maybe a joke or two about their awful teeth and calling him a limey, suddenly I’m out of material. That’s why I don’t think that fight’s a good idea. The trash talk will be pretty lame.

The Outsider: What do you and he have against Brazilians?

Sonnench: They live in the jungle and eat bananas. What’s there to like?

The Outsider: Listen, I don’t throw the “r” word around, but c’mon…

Sonnench: Whatever, tard.

The Outsider: All right, clearly this isn’t going anywhere productive.

Sonnench: It sure isn’t!

** @PROMMA Go f%&$ yourself. Next time tell your radio hosts to brush their teeth so I don’t smell donkey &^*%^* every time they talk.

12:59pm March 21 via web

The Outsider: Very mature.

Sonnench: Your MOM is mature!

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