I am a verbal deterrent aficionado and elitist. When someone is speaking, especially at work, they usually get the monotone “meeting briefer voice” that goes like this:
“Basically, um, we’re kind of um, kind of taking a look at things, and um…”
Um = verbal deterrent. What do I do? I sit there and make tick marks counting the number of times they say it. Also, words such as “like”, “basically”, and “sooooo…”. Try it next time you are in a meeting and it will make the time pass much, much faster. Verbal deterrents are things that plague our society. Couple that with the repetitive use of words once considered cool and it’s an urban dictionary of collective fail.
Our society also picks up words and phrases from TV shows that make my head hurt. They are the ones forced in to conversations first by kids, and then by adults trying to sound cool. That usually kills it when the parents start saying it, but still – it lingers. Here are 10 words that need to go bye-bye and quickly.
I hate this word now. Thanks to millions of people saying things like, “This place is literally like 200 years old” and it was built in 1994 or something like that. How cool do you sound, right? You don’t. Not at all. You are also banking on the fact that misusing the word is funny. It’s not. Not at all.
I used to like “THIS”. There were positive memes out there with something amazing happening. The only word posted underneath the photo was “THIS”. It was cool for like a month. Then it expanded to, “THIS. Just this”.
Gamers made it cool for a moment, but even then it got old quickly. It is used when someone makes a comment you agree with. You post the photo like you used to “+1” something.
Justin Bieber uses this word. Period.
FYI and Friendly reminder
“Just an FYI for everyone. I hate friendly reminders”. These are the annoyances that appear in work e-mails or on poster boards you see at grocery stores. Most of the time they are not friendly reminders. They mask a pissed off boss’s desire to choke everyone out. “Just a friendly reminder not to park in management’s parking spots”.
You only live once. This is on everything, everywhere, all the time. It is essentially the battle cry equivalent of city folk doing something crazy/stupid. Rednecks had “hey y’all watch this” and Jackass had “Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville welcome to Jackass”.
This is sometimes yelled right before a drunk college chick takes her top off, goes home with a strange dude, and wakes up pregnant with herpes. People jumping off rooftops, getting tattoos, committing adrenaline junkie crimes, and other wild stuff are attributed directly to this phrase. Go. Away.
Shit just got real
I admit it. I loved this one for like a year. Some of the memes were absolutely hilarious, but like all good things it is time to put it away. It’s played out homies. Move on.
I just can’t. I mean before this there was “my boo” and then there was “wifey”. Bae? Are you kidding me? This may be the dumbest expression to describe a significant other of all time. By the way, a woman who calls you her bae is probably cheating on you.
They took baby and removed the “by” and added an “e”. Let’s do that with things like cereal, too. “Yo cuz. I love me some Rae Bran”. Stop using that f#@$ing word. All I hear is a fake gangsta voice saying “Yo, dawg. Bae be looking fine as hell, yo”.
Legit, or seems legit
This one was funny for a minute. I admit the before/after one with the skinny white guy holding a weight gain product as the before and the muscular black guy as after was pretty funny. Now it is just obnoxious and overused everywhere.
Oh my god. Whoever coined this term is next in line for an ass whipping right after I beat up the person who started this next phrase. Pregzilla, pregnacious, pregalistic, and stuff resembling this stupid attempt at being cute needs to disappear.
This is the single most maddening phrase in the world. It is used as a false exclamation of disbelief telling the world that the person using it is too cool for their own good. Anyone who says this is a drama queen and most likely will start an argument with you every chance they get just to use the word “really”.
I hear this a lot.
You’re going to pay $10 for that? Really. Really? Really?! REALLY?!
You are not cool. This phrase makes you look stupid. Please. Please? PLEASE?!