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Ask Trigg: Sex and Dating

“Ask Trigg”

A Relationship Advice Blog for Women

One of MMA’s most recognized personalities dishes on love and the male psyche in “Ask Trigg -A Dating and Relationship Blog for Women” featured exclusively on ProMMANow.com (www.prommanow.com).  Every Wednesday the mixed martial arts fighter, color commentator, and MMA spokesman will give his advice to female fans based on questions they have submitted.

In this entertaining and insightful blog, Trigg will share entertaining stories and reflect on love lessons he has learned as he guides readers through the complex world of dating and relationships. Frank Trigg has dated over 300 women and was married twice before finding “The One.” He married his high school sweetheart, his college sweetheart and is now happily married to the true love of his life.

Trigg has learned many valuable lessons as a result of his relationship experiences and for years has been the go to guy for relationship advice among his friends and peers. Trigg would now like to share his insight with fans and hopes to help the ladies better understand men. Ladies can send their dating and relationship questions to AskTrigg@gmail.com.

Question of the Week:

Is there a way to tell (from the very beginning) if a guy is really interested in getting to know me and not just trying to sleep with me?

The answer to this question is, no. Unfortunately, you will never know in the beginning what his true intentions are. Truth be told, most guys have no clue what they want in the beginning. They just know they are attracted to you.

Some guys genuinely want to get to know a woman and may be looking for a relationship ….others (most) just want to have sex. All guys are different. Again, as I mentioned in last week’s blog post, it has a lot to do with where you meet these guys.

When it comes to sex, some guys have more patience than others. I know some guys that will pursue a woman for six months just to have sex with them. Once they do then their done. They have no interest in having a relationship. These guys just want to prove a point…and like the thrill of the chase.

On the other hand, some guys won’t see a woman more than a few times if they aren’t genuinely interested in her. So ultimately, there is no sure fire way to tell what a guy’s intentions are in the beginning, it all depends on the guy.

While we are on this subject, I would like to address the topic of sex and dating. Most women choose not to sleep with a guy early on (even if they really want to) because they think that the guy will assume that their ‘easy’ or not ‘girlfriend’ material.

…Ladies, this is NOT true. If you have sex with the guy early on, it has no bearing on whether or not we continue to date you (unless the chemistry isn’t there or the guy simply was just looking to have sex and nothing else.)

Most men want to know early on if there is sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry is a very important dynamic when it comes to being in a relationship. Yes, communication and common interests are extremely important…but so is sexual chemistry. If that dynamic isn’t there, it’s a waste of time. The relationship will never work.

Ladies – I look forward to receiving more questions. Please send them to AskTrigg@gmail.com. Have a great day!

  • Jessica

    I feel like the most important thing you can do is be honest about your own intentions in the beginning. As much as it sucks, you really can’t control anyone else or their feelings about you. If they are going to ‘use’ you and deceive you, then that’s just what they’re going to do. As long as you know you were open and honest about you’re intentions, you can walk away knowing YOU weren’t the one who made the mistake.

    I also agree that it doesn’t matter when you sleep with a guy. So many girls put a timeline on when they will sleep with a guy and it really shouldn’t matter. I feel like the physical part of a relationship is something that should be very organic and will happen when it’s supposed to. If the chemistry is there and you want to sleep with him, just do it. My past two relationships have both been with men I slept with on the first date and they both turned into long, very meaningful relationships. Also, if they are going to be the type to judge me for making my own decision, I don’t want to be with them anyway!

  • http://twitter.com/KelvinHunt Kelvin Hunt

    “If the chemistry is there and you want to sleep with him, just do it”

    Boom.

  • http://msmorphosis.com Jen

    I think you made a lot of great points in this one. I think you’re right that there isn’t a way to “know” for sure, but I think there are also a lot of times when we really like someone that we ignore our gut instincts because we don’t want to admit that they may not like us back. I think that, in the end, finding someone that likes us as much as we like them is a balance of good luck and be true to those gut instincts that tell us this is or isn’t something that could be real.

    Keep em coming- thanks for the great peak into the male psyche!

  • susan cingari

    very good advice and very well written

  • Im no ho in L.A.

    My boyfriend is kind of shy. I’m scared if I tell him I’m into anal, he’ll think I’m a slut. How do you approach that?

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