“Ask Trigg”
A Relationship Advice Blog for Women
One of MMA’s most recognized personalities, Frank Trigg, dishes on love and the male psyche in “Ask Trigg -A Dating and Relationship Blog for Women” featured exclusively on ProMMANow.com (www.prommanow.com).
Every Wednesday the mixed martial arts fighter, color commentator, and MMA spokesman will give his advice to female fans based on questions they have submitted.
In this entertaining and insightful blog, Trigg will share entertaining stories and reflect on love lessons he has learned as he guides readers through the complex world of dating and relationships.
Frank Trigg has dated over 300 women and was married twice before finding “The One.” He married his high school sweetheart, his college sweetheart and is now happily married to the true love of his life.
Trigg has learned many valuable lessons as a result of his relationship experiences and for years has been the go-to guy for relationship advice among his friends and peers.
Trigg would now like to share his insight with fans and hopes to help the ladies better understand men. Ladies can send their dating and relationship questions to [email protected].
Question of the Week:
“I just can’t seem to find a guy that really wants to get to know me. They always seem genuinely interested at first, but in the end it becomes apparent that they are just looking for a fling. What gives? Is there a way to tell (from the very beginning) if a guy is really interested in getting to know me?”
Mostly likely the guy that you ‘think’ is your type isn’t necessarily the ‘right’ type of guy for you. The second part to your question is an entirely different topic, but a complex and interesting one.
It deserves a blog post all to itself. Tune in next week for my take on it. Today let’s take a look at the type of guys that you’re dating and possible reasons why you are having a hard time finding your match.
The first thing we need to address is where you are meeting them. Do you meet them at bars, clubs …the local gym? If you answered yes to any of these, that is part of the problem.
It is very doubtful that you are going to meet “Mr. Right” at a club, a bar or the gym. When I say gym, I’m referring to traditional mainstream gyms (not MMA or boxing gyms.) Sport specific gyms evoke a different atmosphere altogether. Traditional gyms are like bars, they are essentially meat markets.
Some of the best relationships start when you are introduced to a friend of a friend or when you meet someone while you’re engaging in an activity that you enjoy. For instance, I like to cook. If I were single, a great place for me to meet someone might be a cooking class.
When you meet someone in that type of social setting, you know from the very start that you have a common interest. You can also get to know that person while doing something that you both enjoy, right from the start.
You really need to pay close attention to where you are meeting guys. Now, let’s talk about the type of guys you are meeting. If you are only into a certain ‘look’ or attitude, that “type” of guy may not necessarily be the “type’ that is right for you.
For instance, a good friend of mine is only attracted to athletic guys that are much younger…if they don’t fit that stereotype then she’s not interested.
When you approach dating that way, it’s not going to work out…and age has nothing to do with it. There are plenty of relationships that work with age differences. My point is, if you are only open to dating a guy with certain characteristics and you can’t seem to find your match, you need to look beyond what you feel is your “type.”
Ultimately what you think is the best type of person for you, may not be compatible with you. Most women go after the “It” factors….the biggest car, the best looking, the most dynamic of the group, etc.
You have to look past what initially attracts you to what you feel is your “type” and try dating out of the norm. There is no perfect man, just as there are no perfect women, so you have to give a little.
Here is the perfect analogy to demonstrate my point: When you play EA Sports MMA and you are in ‘Fighter Mode’ (the section where you choose your fighter, his fight style, etc.), you CAN’T have a guy that is 100% in every area …True to life, it’s not possible. There always has to be a compromise.
Ladies – I look forward to receiving more questions. Please send them to [email protected]. Have a great day!
[…] 12-round battle with Juan Manuel Marquez was beautiful in its own right. The boxin more… Ask Trigg: Finding “Mr. Right” – Pro MMA Now – prommanow.com 11/16/2011 Ask Trigg: Finding “Mr. Right”Pro MMA NowIt is very doubtful […]
Oh Trigg you are being much too nice. Has this lady ever considered maybe if guys’ don’t find her interesting beyond just her looks, then maybe she just is not interesting. Maybe she is just dull. Why does it have to be the guys’ fault?
Frank – you’ve got great stuff here. I really like the point about meeting someone while doing something that you’re both interested in. I met my boyfriend at work (whoops) but it was a really important part of us getting to know and appreciating each other. Before we were dating, or even friends, we were coworkers. I knew how patient he was when I messed things up that he had to fix, and he knew how sensitive I could be to certain types of criticism. He was able to respect my creativity and intellect, and I valued his work and his ability to make everything we did a thousand times better and a thousand times more fun. Also, I like your point about age. My boyfriend is three years younger, but I literally cannot tell. We balance each other out beautifully.
Thank you for another great article -looking forward to more!
You have a point..