It has been a while since my last column. My life has been extremely busy, and my Advanced Reporting Methods class is slowly killing me. Anxiety, caused by the class, has given me Fight-Club-level insomnia. Even though I would only wish insomnia on my worst enemies, it also has a few perks.
Staying up all night to cover a Dream show is a breeze when you are already awake and not doing anything. In fact, Michael Schiavello’s commentary style fits right in with the stuff on television during the overnight hours. (I will never again write or say TV instead of television, because people tell me I say it funny. That simply will not do.)
I suggest that more people involved with MMA, including Dana White, go without sleep and surf the channels after three in the morning. The other night I had to decide between Star Trek and yet another infomercial about a life-changing blender. Naturally I went with Star Trek, because the only infomercials I watch have Mr. T.
In this particular episode Jeri Ryan is captured by aliens and forced to fight other aliens, including Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, in gladiator-style contests. After winning a fight or two, the promoter signs her up for a death match with an unnamed opponent. Another alien, with a hunting obsession rivaled only by Tim Sylvia, decides to train her. In the end Jeri Ryan finds out her death-match opponent is actually her trainer. He wants her to kill him, so he can die an honorable death. Clearly he is not one to leave a fight in the hands of the judges. Naturally, Ryan refuses to fight him.
Since MMA fans hate spoilers, I must warn you. I am about to ruin the end of this epic Sci-Fi fantasy. Both Jeri Ryan and the alien hunting fanatic are saved without anyone dying.
After UFC 111, Dana “Chuckie Cheese” White took it upon himself to call out Jon Fitch for not wanting to fight his teammate Josh Koscheck. MMA pundits have been complaining about the AKA logjam near the top of the welterweight division for what seems like light-years. However, people should know that there is no reason to make this fight, and more importantly they don’t want to see this fight!
Granted the fight would be a match up between two top-ten welterweights, but the bottom line is that they do not want to fight. Also, there is not a shortage of quality fighters at welterweight, so Fitch and Koscheck will never actually be backed into the so-called corner. Fitch still has a lot to do before he earns another title shot, and Koscheck will probably earn a shot if and when he defeats Paul Daley.
Here is the kicker. Why does anyone think that this is a fight fans want to see? Fitch dummying Ben Saunders for three rounds clearly did not entertain the Jersey crowd. Also, Fitch and Koscheck are not just friends, they are also training partners. Do you thinnk Fitch would be more or less exciting against a guy that he trains with only a daily basis? I rest my case.
It would be too much to ask that Dana White stops mocking one of his top fighters in public. However, hopefully this fight does not happen. Fitch clearly said that he is willing to sacrifice a shot at the title in order to avoid fighting a teammate, and that should be the end of it. The UFC can try to bury both Fitch and Koscheck on undercards, but in reality they are two of the best welterweights in the world. The cream rises to the top. Both fighters will get another crack at Georges St. Pierre in the Octagon, without having to fight each other.
If the fight is booked, do not be surprise if a spaceship magically appears and teleports the fighters out of the cage. Then again, maybe I just need more sleep.