The State of the Warhammer Address – An English Outlaw tries to prove Christ is not Canadian

Hello America,

It’s Warhammer time once more folks, but before I get started I wanna give out a way you can reach me. The email is you can email me directly with questions or comments about whats going on in the world of MMA and I, the Warhammer, will address them as only I can in upcoming articles.

So as usual I’m surfing the net and looking at all that is glamorous in the world of MMA and I come across something that catches the Warhammer’s eye. It’s a story about a young English lad by the name of Dan Hardy, otherwise known as “The Outlaw”.

So I’m reading the article and I must admit ladies and gents, I was impressed. I think I just discovered my favorite English fighter.

When talking about some of his critics he said “I am a big underdog against GSP and every interview, every day, in emails from fans, I’m getting asked: ‘How do you expect to beat GSP?’ and ‘Do you think you deserve a title shot?’ I am getting those questions all the time, like GSP is some kind of god and shouldn’t’t even have to defend his title.”

Dan is so right people, and because of the Canadian conspiracy, uncovered by your main man the Warhammer, you will note 9 out of 10 Canadians actually believe that GSP is Jesus’ French Canadian brother.

Dan is also right about being an underdog in this one. Dan has the distinct disadvantage of not being Genetically enhanced and created in a laboratory.

Then he starts in on Nate Marquart. Nate was quoted as making some negative comments about Dan and this is what our man Dan has to say to it, “Nate Marquardt is another guy who has been vocal that I am getting some sort of preferential treatment from the UFC. He’s a middleweight, so I can’t see how this concerns him. But all I can say is if I don’t curl up into a ball and get blasted in one round, I’ll do better than he did in his title shot against Anderson Silva. I’ve won four UFC bouts to get here, not-so-great Nate had three, none of which were against world-beaters.”

HAHAHA, WOW! Looks like not-so-great Nate just got clowned by “The Outlaw”. Hilarious stuff people, I mean seriously. What’s with these people that just want to talk bad when someone catches a break. Look at all the people that came out against Brock Lesnar when he got his title shot. Once again our man Dan is right, stop the hate Nate.

Then he gets on the subject of Josh Koscheck. I remember seeing when Dan first got announced as the next guy up for a title shot and Koscheck came out crying about it. What a cry baby, look Koscheck you had your chance. You fought GSP and got tooled. Given I think Koscheck is a good fighter, but he got smoked and now he’s mad cause someone else gets a shot.

Koscheck you’re lame and that’s why Dan Hardy said, “I am very amused Josh Koscheck is still bitching his lungs out that he deserves a title shot, not me. British fans will know Koscheck as the Fraggle-haired guy who got sparked out in one round in London a year ago, only to take his loss out on an innocent chair backstage, scoring a split decision points win over the unsuspecting piece of furniture… Koscheck says I have beaten nobodies but my latest win was over his supposed friend and team-mate in Swick. How loyal.”

Not only did he cite the part in your statement where you clowned your boy Mike Swick, he said you have Fraggle-hair! Dan Hardy is clowning you Josh Koscheck, he’s clowning you with your owns words and he’s down playing that big decision victory you had in England against that chair. For the third time tonight Dan Hardy is right, no one likes a cry baby and your piss weak fraggle-hair gets an F, Mr. Koscheck.

The moral of this story is that win, lose, or draw Dan Hardy caught a break and that makes the jealous people of the world angry. But you know what makes him great, is the fact that he clowned those jealous people in a manner that we can all read it and laugh at how dumb they look now. On behalf of the people, the Warhammer thanks you for your hilarious comments Dan Hardy.

This is the Warhammer and this has been… “The State of the Warhammer”.

Please like & share:
  • Heeeeee’s back! Good stuff Warhammer.

  • Cowboy

    Hey Warhammer why does your “About the Author” section say you are a UFC veteran you had one fight, lost, and then got cut. shouldn’t it say UFC Washout?

  • MerleHaggerty

    He still made it further than 99.9% of MMA fighters ever will. And to top it off, he made it to the UFC after just a couple of fights. Most guys fight their whole life and never make it to the big show. Sherdog don’t even list all of Warhammer’s fights either. I saw him fight a few weeks ago and knock the guy out with one punch. What have you done lately tough guy? You got some nerve talking shit to a pro fighter. Oh wait… it doesn’t take any nerve to talk shit on the Internet.

  • Jacob O’Brien

    Cowboy, so because my Grandfather, who served in the Army, got shot and sent hom in World War 2, and never made it back over there or to another war, I guess he’s not a war veteran is that right?

    And what qualifies you to call a pro fighter a wash out?

  • Cindy O’Brien

    So is Rolles Gracie a washout too?

  • ted

    Cowboy your a true faggit. If I read correctly you say he got cut. I’m pretty sure he opted out of his contract to go fight elsewhere. He now has a 8-2 pro record. His two losses are both by decision to known guys with good records. Hey Cowboy cock sucker, whats your pro record. Is it 0 and pole-smoke. How many fights do you have in the UFC. I bet the only time the UFC ever contacted you was via e-mail to tell you that the UFC hat you got your boyfriend for christmas was being shipped to your gay ass house. The Warhammer was right, jealous people love to talk bad when people catch a break. Cowboy sounds like your a jealous fag.

  • looks like cowboy can’t get off brokeback mountain long enough to explain himself.

  • Charles

    scottyrotten : 1

    Cowboy: polesmoke

  • kenny d

    who thinks cowboy likes to sit and spin! LOL when i grow up i wanna be like THE WARHAMMER!!! lol

  • Captian fricken obvious

    I think its obvious what cowboys problem is….he’s Koschecks fragle-haired fuck-butt. Hey Cowboy why don’t you post your pro fight record, wait I’ll answer that for you, YOU DON’T HAVE ONE!

  • cowboy’s lover

    I’m cowboys lover! Stop hating on my but buddy. Just because Jake O’brien and his mom got on here and validated Joshua Schockman as a real UFC fighter doesn’t mean you have the right to talk bad about my awesome bubble butted man! Shame on you homo haters… This is America people!!! Land of the free and home of the gay, I mean brave.

  • Jeff

    Blame Canada! Hammer, the anti-Canadian undertone of this article really offends me! Next thing your gonna try and tell us is that Strange Brew isnt one of the greatest movies of all time and that Brett Hart isnt the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. For God’s sake Shockman, I grew up on one of the greatest Canadian exports…”You can’t do that on television”.

  • Why are all the Warhammer fans so impolite? MMA is supposed to be about honor, courage, and hard work. Josh Koscheck is the epitome of everything great about this sport and Dan Hardy is just a loud mouth punk with a bad haircut. I’m a high school teacher and if Dan Hardy was in my class he would definitely get an F in citizenship. Truthfully though, much of his problems probably go back to bad parenting, so it’s hard to completely blame him for his lack of class. But still he has to take some responsibility for the image he portrays to the youth. This is America dammit and he needs to respect that or get out.

  • Captian fricken obvious

    Well Everett from what I gather the people that get on and post are only rude, vulger, and impolite to the people that get on here and take personal shots at the Warhammer. People like yourself that just express their feelings and opinions about the people in the articles are usually pretty safe from the hatefull comments. Its always good when people get on here and express their opinions about the article I think, but I personaly have to disagree with some of what your saying. Yes MMA is about honor, courage, hard work, and dedication, but Koscheck shows little honor or respect when he gets on television and talks bad about Dan Hardy. I’m from the school of thought that like him or not Dan Hardy put in the work to get to where he is. When he finally gets a title shot and Koscheck comes out talking down about him, you can’t help but think badly of Koscheck for doing that, at least I can’t. Sure the Warhammer gets on here and writes articles that seem to be geared towards satire and have a comic spin to them, but the article points out facts as well. Such as the fact that multiple people have nothing but bad things to say when something good happens to someone. Its just sad to see grown men act like that and I think all comedy aside this article points that out.

  • Thank you for talking in a respectful manner Captain. If you were in my class you would get a B+ in citizenship. I still don’t think Dan Hardy is in the same class as Koscheck or especially Jon Fitch. The only reason he’s getting a title shot is because there really isn’t anyone else right now and the welterweight division is dried up. Let’s face it, since Matt Hughes took GSP lightly and lost the title, the whole division hasn’t been the same. Could you imagine Matt Hughes fighting Dan Hardy? Hughes would spank him and put him to work on the farm. After he beats Renzo Gracie, I think he’s going to come back, show GSP who’s boss, win the title one last time and retire. Matt Hughes is a fine Christian example of what every fighter should try to be like. IF he was in my class I would give him an A+ in citizenship.

  • Captian fricken obvious

    Its not that I don’t like Matt Hughes or respect him or respect what he has accomplished but I have to say that he will never make that kind of a comeback. Matt Hughes at the peak of his career was without a doubt one of the most dominant 170 pound fighters in the history of the sport, but unfortunatly he is no longer at his peak. As proof of such look at his last two performances. Thiago Alves crushed him and he had problems getting a decision against Matt Serra. I’m quite confident that the Matt Hughes of today would get smoked by a guy like Dan Hardy. In the article the Warhammer plays up on the comic value that Dan Hardy has with the comments he made but no one can dispute the fact that he showed great striking against Marcus Davis and Mike Swick. Don’t get me wrong bro I hope Matt Hughes destroyes Renzo Gracie and I like Matt, but as far as beating a Guy like Dan Hardy I just don’t see it. I don’t know I’m no expert, I would be curious what the Warhammer thinks though, maybe I’ll email him and ask. I’m sure we would at least get a laugh out of his response.

  • I don’t see why you’re hanging out Matt Hughes to dry like he was yesterday’s news. It’s obvious Hughes just took GSP lightly and he probably had never heard of Thiago Alves when they fought and didn’t even train.He would beat Matt Serra with his eyes closed and probably didn’t train for that fight either. He’s very busy with his Christian duties of charity work and working on the farm and teaching Bible class. So he really only trains if it’s for the title. You said Dan Hardy would smoke Matt Hughes, but that’s just not true. It’s evident Hardy doesn’t believe in God and someone like that would never be allowed by God to beat one of his soldiers. I saw a photo the other day of Dan Hardy wearing a shirt with 666 on it. What kind of message does that send to the world? Because of that, he could never beat a soldier of the cross. If Dan Hardy was a kid in my class and he wore that devil shirt to class, I would try to get him expelled.

  • CJ

    IMO Koscheck is a dick ….. He has done nothing but talk alot of BS which is why alot of people don’t like him .

  • Stone Smith

    Look here Warhammer. I guess you’re supposed to be some kind of big deal where you’re from. But I read that last article of yours and now this one and it seems you just like talking smack as much as Josh Koscheck or Dan Hardy does. I’m from the old school of wrestling like Hammer House. We would take any of these kickboxers down and pound their brains out. I was a pro fighter before there was any money in this thing. I was mean and rough and big and strong and I just fought because I liked to hurt people. LIke Tank Abbott. Now that’s a man right there. If Tank didn’t drink so much beer these days, he would murder Brock Lesnar. I know Tank, and we’ve done some sparring, and I tell you, one punch of his and Lesnar would eat dirt. All these boys today want to be all pretty. I call em sissy fighters. they aint real fighters. They’re just kids play fighting.

  • Jeff

    Tank Abbott??? LMAO. Are you seriously defending your stance with Tank Abbott??? I think I just pissed myself laughing.