I call this "Psychedelic Fedor" because he is on another plane of being. Also, if I had one wish it would be to go to Fedor's birthday party and MC Hammer would sing the classics while Fedor does the running man.

Welcome to the new (not so much improved, really, because, well… they ARE new) ProMMA.info fighter rankings.  These rankings are compiled by me, Mike Menninger, MMA genius, card-carrying member of the ANA (Anti-Nuthugger Alliance), defender of horrendous sweaters worn by athletes of whom I am afraid, and co-host of The Cageside Beat radio show.  (Please note, ProMMA.info can only confirm or deny the last one, which it confirms, but probably would rather deny.)

These rankings aren’t scientific, exactly.  Who needs hard data when totally arbitrary information can be passed off as fact anyway?  Am I right?  Instead, fighters are ranked based on my review of various computer rankings across the interwebs, recent fighter activity, the douchey-ness of fighters’ nicknames, and most importantly, my own bias.  No fighter is ranked in more than one division.  I’ll also be adding comments as I see fit.

Remember kids, these rankings are specifically designed as a personal affront to you, each and every reader of ProMMA.info.  That’s right.  With each new weight class, imagine me giving you the double finger, straight Stockton, Cali-style, homie.

So if you disagree with the rankings… and I know you do… flame away in the comments.  And please feel free to send me a vitriol-laced e-mail in which you can (should) question my sexuality, assert your best guess of what my IQ may be, and ask for the GPS coordinates of my mansion in the hills (a/k/a starter house in the burbs) so you can finally check “arson” off your bucket list.  I mean, you’ll be glad you did it, and you probably won’t get caught.  But we all know you won’t actually admit it after the fact.  Pansy.

Again, welcome to the fighter rankings, where committing arson is kind of like doing a fat chick, and Rich Franklin will always be the undisputed Catchweight Champ.

Seriously, my e-mail is [email protected].  Knock me down a peg.

FEATHERWEIGHT

With some recent lackluster cards and the upcoming stinker known as UFC 108, it’s time Zuffa & Co. give some serious thought to folding the WEC up into the big leagues.  FYI, no wins since 2007 keeps Kid Yamamoto off the list. So, if you disagree, as the kids these days would say…

P.S.  There are more comments with the FWs because several of the names are a bit more obscure.

1. Jose Aldo Whoever holds the WEC belt sits atop this list, it seems.
2. Mike Brown
3. Bibiano Fernandes Rolling through DREAM like he owns the motherfu**er.
4. Marlon Sandro A split-decision loss to Omigawa away from being undefeated.
5. Josh Grispi 3 impressive wins with no losses in his WEC tenure.
6. Michihiro Omigawa A couple of nice wins put him on the list, but a couple of underwhelming losses keep him from climbing too high.
7. Joe Soto 8-0 with only 1 fight going to decision.
8. Hatsu Hioki Fought 10 times in the last 25 months, with only 1 loss, to Omigawa, in that span.
9. Urijah Faber
10. Manny Gamburyan Acquitting himself in the biz much better than his cousin, Karo.

LIGHTWEIGHT

Is anyone sold on the UFC’s Lightweight division?  What has 2 thumbs and doesn’t think so?  This guy.  By the way, I don’t want to hear word one about Gomi.  Dude’s lost 3 of his last 7 fights, including being on the business end of a gogoplata by a stoned Nick Diaz.

1. B.J. Penn
2. Shinya Aoki 5 fights since New Year’s Eve 2008, with 4 wins and only a single loss to Mach Sakurai thrown in there.
3. Kenny Florian
4. Eddie Alvarez
5. Gray Maynard Tramp stamp and all.  Not a real threat to Penn’s belt, but still undefeated.
6. Mizuto Hirota With recent wins over Ishida and Kitaoka, he belongs on the list.
7. Frankie Edgar Smallish for the division, but you can’t argue with a lone loss to Maynard on his resume.
8. Tatsuya Kawajiri
9. Diego Sanchez Despite the loss to B.J., is he still one of the top LWs in the world?  YES!  YES!  YES! (I know, I know… the joke’s been overdone.)
10. Gilbert Melendez

WELTERWEIGHT

If you were a 170-er, where would you want to fight?  Slim pickins outside the ole U.F. of C.

1. Georges St. Pierre
2. Dan Hardy All he’s done is go 12-1 since 2006 and beat everyone the UFC has put in front of him.
3. Thiago Alves
4. Jon Fitch Maybe it’s time these AKA guys start fighting each other.
5. Josh Koscheck Did anyone think he would dismantle Anthony Johnson the way he did?  Put your hands down, you liars.
6. Paulo Thiago
7. Marius Zaromskis The new Cro Cop.  He’s 4-0 in 2009, with his last 3 wins coming via head kick.
8. Jay Hieron
9. Matt Hughes It’s retro night here at ProMMa.info.  Seriously though, he’s only lost to Nos. 1 and 3 on this list since 2004.  Give the old man his due.
10. Dustin Hazelett

MIDDLEWEIGHT

Just like in a couple of the other UFC divisions, the chasm separating Champ from #1 contender in this division is vast.  Maybe the UFC should try to get that Henderson guy from Strikeforce.

1. Anderson Silva
2. Nate Marquardt
3. Dan Henderson Who is he going to fight now?  Good move, Hollywood.
4. Jake Shields Shields still dominates, despite fighting above his weight class.  Take some notes, Mr. Penn.
5. Chael Sonnen After being submitted by Maia (and let’s be honest, who hasn’t been submitted by Maia), Sonnen’s notched solid wins over Dan Miller and Yushin Okami.  Sonnen > Okami > Anderson Silva.  Indisputable evidence that Sonnen is better than Anderson Silva.  Check and mate.
6. Mamed Khalidov 18-0-1 in his last 19 fights.  Can’t argue with results.  Or my wife.  Trust me.
7. Michael Bisping
8. Demian Maia
9. Yoshihiro Akiyama Akiyama’s only loss is to Jerome LeBanner back in ought-five.
10. Nick Diaz

LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT

If he had gotten the win over Matt Hamill, Jon Jones would be in here.  Still, this is a pretty solid list of fighters even without him.  No points were deducted for fighters who subscribe to “urine therapy.”  Count yourself lucky, Karate Kid.

1. Lyoto Machida
2. Gegard Mousasi What?! A non-UFC guy in the top 2?  This is bullsh**!
3. Quinton Jackson
4. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira Quietly might be passing his brother as the better fighter of the two.
5. Rashad Evans
6. Mauricio Rua
7. Thiago Silva
8. Vitor Belfort He hasn’t fought at MW in a while, but deserves recognition for recent wins over Matt Lindland and Rich Franklin.
9. Randy Couture Age before beauty…
10. Forrest Griffin …even though Forrest ain’t all that pretty.

HEAVYWEIGHT

Remember when everyone thought that most of the world’s best heavyweights were outside of the UFC?  Seems like forever ago, huh?  Especially now that they got Paul Buentello back.

1. Fedor Emelianenko Never heard of this guy, but everyone seems to LOVE him.
2. Brock Lesnar
3. Frank Mir
4. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira
5. Shane Carwin
6. Cain Velasquez
7. Junior dos Santos
8. Fabricio Werdum Can’t put him ahead of a guy who beat him not too long ago.
9. Brett Rogers
10. Josh Barnett He only cracked the Top 10 out of mercy.  Seriously Josh, put down the juice and slowly back away.

POUND-FOR-POUND

1. Anderson Silva He wins convincingly when he’s bored.  He embarrasses the former #1 LHW in the world when he’s focused.  Scary, scary dude.
2. Fedor Emelianenko There’s that name again.  I’m gonna have to Google him.
3. Georges St. Pierre Anyone else up for a GSP/Anderson Silva superfight?  Let me rephrase… is anyone NOT up for it?
4. B.J. Penn Penn won’t lose any more until he gets too old or fights GSP again, whichever comes first.
5. Brock Lesnar Get well soon, Brock.  Very truly yours, all the people who want to see you lose.
6. Lyoto Machida
7. Gegard Mousasi
8. Jake Shields Fun fact: since October of 2005, Machida, Mousasi, and Shields are a combined 43-1-0.  Damn.
9. Brian Bowles No one gets hurt by a little Bantamweight love, which, by the way, would be an excellent name for a band.  “Tonight at the Blue Note: Bantamweight Love!”  See?  Sounds awesome.  I’ll sell it to you for $5.  Anyway, everyone thought Miguel Torres was the second coming, until Bowles stayed undefeated by knocking him out.
10. Jose Aldo

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