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Coach’s blog – worst training injuries

If one of your testicles gets to be this size, you may want to go to the doctor.

If one of your testicles gets to be this size, you may want to go to the doctor.

Gym Date – 9.18.09

Our mission to decide what is the worst training injury. I think I win, but others may disagree. Here it goes…

While training in California I felt something like a groin pull while I was rolling. So when the round was up I went to the bathroom to take a leak. That’s when I looked down and saw that one of my balls was the size of an orange. So I walked out to the gym and told the guys what happened and one of the guys took me to the hospital.

By the time the doctor saw me, my ball had swollen to the size of a grapefruit (I shit you not) the other one shrunk to the size of a small grape.

The doctor looks at it and asks what happened so I tell him. He gives me a shot in the nut and cuts the sack open. He said that the balls twisted on themselves; calls it a torsion.

It seems that the twist in my balls was cutting the blood off to one nut and causing the blood to get trapped in the other one, because of the twisting the blood was pooling up in the ball and causing the swelling.

He untwisted them and sewed one of my balls to the sack to keep it from twisting again. So the next day I fly back to Virginia because the doctor said I couldn’t train for six weeks so no point in paying for a hotel room for the rest of the week.

I’m in the air cruising at 30,000 feet and I know that planes are pressurized but my testicles are starting to throb. I could feel my heart beat in my balls. I started asking the flight attendant for ice cold cans of coke to put on my package; by the time the plane lands I have lap full of sodas. The flight attendants think I’m pervy or something.

About four days after being home I get bored and decide to go sparring. I end up ripping every stitch out of my sack.

On the way home from the gym I stop by a CVS drug store to get a butterfly stitch for my sack (there is no blood in the sack, in case you’ve never seen your balls they are a shiny glistening pink like the inside of your mouth).

I see a bottle of liquid skin and think “hey that’s even better” so I get home, take a shower, and slathered it all over my balls. Then I started to dance around the bathroom because it stung like hell.

Needless to say I ended up back at the doctor’s office and this time I stayed off the mat for a while.

Since then I’ve had my balls sucked in between my back tire and the brake stay of my mountain bike (tore the sack wide open so I got to see my boys for the second time in my life).

I got a vasectomy after my third kid. Got divorced and remarried and had a vasectomy reversal (and had two more kids) so now my balls are pretty numb.

I can get kneed in the balls and nothing. How’s that for a parlor game. My kids think it’s great fun.

By:  Ron Dayley

Ron Dayley is a trainer, manager, promoter, and owner of SSF Submission Academy.

  • http://promma.info promma

    I will never look at grapefruit the same way again, thanks for the imagery Ron. You got me beat for sure.

  • charles

    That is too funny! The closest I can get to that is the time I ate a bunch of hot wings (they were called Flatliners because of their excessive heat). I did not properly wash my hands when I went to take a piss and needless to say, my penis got very hot. Good thing it was winter & I had some chapstick in my pocket because washing your dick off with water did not stop the burning. The chapstip cooled my lips as well as my dick – seriously!

  • http://www.ssfgear.com Ron

    lol, chapstick dipstick.

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